7-june-2006 JERKY

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week I dropped my jerky.

And i was surprisingly sad about it.

If you had asked me last week how I would feel if I dropped jerky,

I would have replied as such:

Glad.

Which I now know is inane,

You see, I have never

Ever

Had the desire to eat beef jerky.

Probably because it is dried raw meat.

And because my Dad once told me it’s called jerky because that’s what happens to your head when you bite it.

It jerks.

Something about chewy dried raw meat seemed gross.

IS gross.

And yet...

My sster called me late Sunday morning, I had awoken shortly before.

She said there were whales at Rottnest and did I want to go for the night

“Sure” i replied, in need of an impromptu adventure.

I had briefly forgotten my current hostilities with rodents.

Envisage, if you can

Me.

My sister.

My Mum AND my Dad.

All standing impatiently at the docks, waiting for the last boat to Rotto.

With a luggage-covered P-handled trolley.

When the 94.5 radio road truck rocks up.

Well, thats not entirely the truth.

It didn’t rock,

But it id roll.

And it gave us free cans of not-so-icey-cold coke and free beef jerk.

I had no intention of eating the jerky,

However,

I did take it with me on the off chance that the only food we were taking (in the form of cheese supreme doritos) ran out and I became horrendously hungry.

I did not become horrendously hungry.

But I did eat the jerky.

On the ferry trip home (yes it was ferry nice thank you) I found the jerky.

I was curious of the free jerky.

I opened it.

I smelt its horrible salty meatiness.

And my sister dared me to eat it.

I bit the tiniest of bites from the exposed corner.

I squirmed at the unexpected ease at which I chewed it.

My head didn’t jerk at all.

And i discovered that the taste wasn’t as bad as the thought.

Unfortunately, my dare wasn’t completed by the tiny bite i had taken.

I had to eat more.

So I did.

I took another bite.

And another.

And another.

My sis couldn’t watch.

And I couldn’t stop.

I kept eating even though I was no longer under the stipulation of the dare.

I ate half.

The next day I was at work and in need of a mid-morning snack.

I remembered the jerky.

I became a little excited.

I ate half of what was left and then...

Dropped it onto the dirty gravelly ground.

I was dreadfully disappointed.

ohhh my jerky

So now I am jerkyless.