Thursday, May 20, 2010

27-april-2006 DUST BUNNIES

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week I decided to move house.
Whilst this is a good thing, it is a bad thing.
I'm going to have to defend myself against the attack of the dust bunnies.
Those evil evil dust bunnies.
They can fly you know.
They can live forever you know.
Depending on a few variables.
Like fire.
But let me define forever.
I'm not one to get all antsy pantsy about existing beyond the grave and beyond.
Beyond the grave AND beyond.
Forever, in my interpretation is as long as the time you physically exist on this earth.
You cant presume the earth will continue after your death, because you don't know the circumstances of your death.
You might die at the end of the earth, thus, at the end of forever by my interpretation.
Anyway, back to dust bunnies.
Patience is their virtue.
They endure long periods of time,
Waiting and accumulating,
determined to succeed in enveloping the perpetrator of wind in a cloud of hay-feverish sneezing.
They implement time to multiply into an unrelenting force.
Breeding like rabbits (baddum tshh) until you suddenly and un-expectantly uncover their previously hidden battle field.
That is their plan.
And this, is when they fly.
You see, dust bunnies hide in the places you are most likely to cause a gust of wind when you uncover them,
Thus giving them lift to enable them to fly.
Into your face.
Up your nose.
Onto your eyes.
But I, friends, I am on to them!
On to them like cheese on a cheese board.
That wasn't a very good analogy.
But I am quite fond of cheese.
I have a plan and a weapon!
It involves a shiny metal pipe-shaped vortex!
I will suck them into oblivion (aka vacuum bag).
Dust bunnies beware.
I will not tolerate your insolence.
Prepare for oblivion.

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