This week, in the world of Lisa...
This week I have decided to be smart again.
No more square pegs in round holes
Or as I prefer,
No more tetrahedrons into icosahedrons.
As I was saying,
I, from the instant the time of blackness with occasional constellated light ceased on Sunday, am smart again.
THIS RECOVERED INTELLECT MUST NOT BE CONFUSED WITH CLUMSINESS.
Clumsiness should not be mistaken for stupidity, as it is most likely that I will continue to be clumsy.
Particularly when inebriated.
Example: tripping over an untied shoelace is stupid, but only if the wearer was aware it was not tied.
Tripping over a cat, whilst funny, is not stupid.
Unless you own the cat.
Tripping over an untied shoelace onto a cat whilst inebriated is hilarious.
Unless you are the cat.
My next point is this:
I don’t believe I became dumber.
I became bored.
After high-school there was a distinct lack of neurological stimulation.
Therefore, my antics (often involving the attempt to fit into confined spaces) cannot be brought to light at this time.
These, and similar acts, were merely for entertainment value.
An attempt to distract myself.
Like the time I hid under a large cardboard box in Bunnings,
Scared the assistant manager,
and scuttled around like boxes do when crossed with a bored homo sapien.
Haha, get it, board.
I also draw attention to my idiocies.
Occasional though they are, if I stop revealing them, I will, in theory, instantly appear smarter.
Also, I believe there is a direct correlation between my boredom and making up words.
Such as antithermodynamic and pronouncing Giraffe so it rhymes with carafe.
And that day I told everybody my foot was uninvisible.
Now that was a fun day.
So if I begin cramming myself into a crevice to “see if I fit”, commence a topical debate.
But do not include politics.
My lack of knowledge on political subjects is not stupidity.
It is an affirmation of my realisation that my life is much improved when it is not consumed by thinking about the suffering of others.
Perhaps a better idea is to ask me a question about bugs =P
I began writing this edition on Tuesday, and printed it for editing.
The printer is in the boss’s office, and he was out until the following day.
He was not out until the following day.
He returned and found my newsletter in the printer.
After reading the first two lines he emerged from his office and asked who’d decided to become smarter.
Once my work was back in my possession I remarked
“Well that was stupid.”