27-may-2006 VIDEO GAMES

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week i discovered something startling.

My 14 year old cousin doesn't know what a SNES is.

Not only has he never played a super nintendo, he doesn't know the super mario games.

Startled?

I continue to be startled as I reminisce.

It all started during my dads 50th birthday party,

Pre- my dads quote of the night;

"My feet keep standing in the wrong direction!"

There were no kids there you see,

and little Sam was a bit bored.

"Don't worry" I said, "you can play video games in my sisters' room"

We took him there and handed him a controller.

He didn't know what it was.

Or how to use it.

In fact, he couldn't even play the game.

He walked straight into an owl.

And looked at us like we were idiots when we told him to throw a tortoise (we jumped on for him) at the other tortoise.

How could this be?!?

Kids these days are growing up in a world where there is no sense of history or appreciation for the current state of video games,

of the graphics and crime binging activities relenquished through nonsensical 2D violence.

I remember the days of the atari 2600.

Then my best friend down the road got an atari 7800, oh boy!

I distinctly remember him telling me how great the graphics were.

We sat there for hours, playing commando and mario.

I'd make my green Luigi pixel bump the POW, and he'd make his blue Mario pixel collect all the crabs.

I think we got up to stage 32 or something.

Those were the days.

Life sure would have sucked without my best friend Glen.

Anyway, kids these days are brought up with play stations.

Imagine!

No transition.

The commando game taught us about war.

Ataris' boxing game had no blood.

These days characters insides are out sooner than you can give them the final mortal kombat upper-cut.

Their brains explode like the blue asteroids.

Their war games teach them to stalk and kill.

What kind of generation will follow us?

Sure, our generation has a tendancy to aim for frogs on the road, but is that really due to the game "frogger"?

Possibly.

Is the hatred shown by youngsters these days towards mascots attributed to super smash brothers?

Possibly, possibly not.

Seriously, who over the age of 6 likes Barney?

Will they be more likely to war, having become desensitised to gore?

Perhaps.

Can the graphics continue to improve?

Are the age restrictions going to surpass 30 if they do?

As for me, I'm going straight out to buy an "old" and "inferior" snes,

Because MY kids are going to appreciate simplicity.

My kids are going to appreciate the awesomeness of snes.

Or perhaps I will be a lonely 40yo with an empty bottle of wine cursing at Diddy Kong and his lack of ability to break barrels.

None-the-less, I say,

"ALL HAIL THE DAYS OF ATARI 7800 & THE SUPERB SUPER NINTENDO!!!"

Future generations will think games that aren't played against someone on the other side of the world are "insert the new cool word for crap".

My advice?

Get a snes while you still can!