This week, in the world of Lisa...
Today I was in my first minor car accident.
Well to be honest, second.
When I was two or less a man bumped my mum's car at some traffic lights.
Despite it being a bump and no harm was done,
I cried for a couple of hours.
I would like to make it known that this time,
I did not cry.
But I did have the power of language this time,
And used a few words usually composed with stars.
I'm not sure whether to say it was my fault or not,
You see, I was innocently eating my strawberry jam toast and giving somebody the finger.
Now from that statement, you may think it was entirely my fault,
Despite my cunning use of 'innocently'.
But consider this...
Had this person not been a STINKY HOE riding up my ASS
I wouldn't have been distracted,
And, wouldn't have given them the finger.
In effect, I saved my cars ass from being crumpled by the girl I refer to as 'stinky-hoe tailgater'.
I added the stinky because I figure she spends a lot of time up people's asses,
So I'd like to make the assumption that hers is.
I didn't save my jeans from getting strawberry jammed.
The man was quite lovely really.
He didn't smile, but he didn't frown.
And that's as lovely as you need to be when a girl who isn't even wearing shoes and is covered in remnants of jam bumps
Actually, it was more like a kiss.
Maybe my car was hot for his car, and it's even less my fault.
No, of course I'm not irrationally diverting the blame.
Have you seen the new cars movie?
I haven't, but I have seen the preview, and in it there are cars with personalities.
All in all, I think everything worked out for the best,
My cars ass remains pristine and so does the other guys.
I can't speak for the stinky-hoe tailgater