Thursday, May 20, 2010

24-march2006 BED STEALERS

good afternoon!

i apologise for the late delivery of this weeks news


in being late i now get to wish you

(yes you)

a happy friday =)


now, down to business.

This week i have been lacking in inspiration.

i have my spacebar back, no eating cereal in mugs, and i just dont feel like talking about spoons right now.

dont ask.

fine ill tell you, there was an incident.

it included spaghetti and a lack of fork.

hence, i am not sure how superior spoons really are at this point in time.

anyhow,my inspiration came to me in the night.

bed stealers.

face it, we are all either givers or takers in this world, and i believe your true colours are exposed when you are sleeping.

my boyfriend is a bed stealer.

wednesday night i had only the width of my shoulders,

sometimes less

and i let him have it.

i didnt push him back

i didnt wake him by saying

"move the *censored* over".

but i did think up devious ways to prevent it happening again.

quite quite devious.

i thought about air horns.

i thought about cattle prods.

i thought about hiring circus clowns to manouver him into a tiny car with twenty other clowns every time his over-turns onto my side.

turns out thats too expensive.

darn it.

so i have two new plans.

plan A: tie him to the bed via the door with a length of rope extending only to the middle of the bed.

plan B: tell him for every time i have to push him over, he has to do the dishes/sweep the floor/scrub the bathroom /*insert household chore you'd rather not do*

he suggested we get the biggest bed in the world "the wooorld"

i suggested he gets the mop and bucket ready.

i didnt have a problem last night.

i had all the space i needed.

my whole half for a whole night.


this morning, i awoke awake and refreshed.

i even jogged 1.1km.

i remembered my lunch. TWICE.

unfortunately, not when i was near the fridge and hence,i was late to work.

i didnt remember the *!#?* fork.

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