Thursday, May 20, 2010

30-march-2006 FIRST AID

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week i achieved my first aid certificate =)

i learnt all about how to treat situations, liiike...

strokes, asthma, diabetes, angina,a giant piece of glass stuck in someones arm...

(there was a great deal of fake blood and a distinct lack of screaming from the victim, err... i mean, patient).

generally, the main lesson was call an ambulance.


"BE CALM. ill call an ambulance. pack it in ice, im sure they can reattach it.".


i gave mouth to mouth rescusitation to a manly dummie called annie...

i think the designer had some kind of gender confusion.

i mean, how many bald, broad shouldered, flat chested 30 year old women do you know?

i dont know any.

and her skin was like rubber.

i put lip gloss on her to no avail.

it didnt make her any more feminine.

and frankly, i'd rather not talk about it.

annie didnt make it.

no matter what i did, i just couldnt save her.

yes, i did try telling a bad joke about her mother.

it went like this:

your mother's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

no response.

i think Reece thought she was sleeping beauty.

he kept wanting to french kiss her.

so i guess there really is somebody for everybody...

i also hope i never pass out in front of Reece...

oh yeah, i got 99% on the final test =)

you'll be safe...

as long as you dont come to me with a foreign object protruding from youre eye...

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