This week, in the world of Lisa...
This week i achieved my first aid certificate =)
i learnt all about how to treat situations, liiike...
strokes, asthma, diabetes, angina,a giant piece of glass stuck in someones arm...
(there was a great deal of fake blood and a distinct lack of screaming from the victim, err... i mean, patient).
generally, the main lesson was call an ambulance.
"OH MY GOD I AMPUTATED AN EYELASH!!!"
"BE CALM. ill call an ambulance. pack it in ice, im sure they can reattach it.".
i gave mouth to mouth rescusitation to a manly dummie called annie...
i think the designer had some kind of gender confusion.
i mean, how many bald, broad shouldered, flat chested 30 year old women do you know?
i dont know any.
and her skin was like rubber.
i put lip gloss on her to no avail.
it didnt make her any more feminine.
and frankly, i'd rather not talk about it.
annie didnt make it.
no matter what i did, i just couldnt save her.
yes, i did try telling a bad joke about her mother.
it went like this:
your mother's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
i think Reece thought she was sleeping beauty.
he kept wanting to french kiss her.
so i guess there really is somebody for everybody...
i also hope i never pass out in front of Reece...
oh yeah, i got 99% on the final test =)
you'll be safe...
as long as you dont come to me with a foreign object protruding from youre eye...