9-June-2011 MUFFINS

This week, in the world of Lisa...


This week I accidentally grilled my muffins.
I've never been properly trayned in the art of muffin making,
I'm not sure it's something you can get a degree for...
And so,
Simply thought I had muffin to worry about.
Having not made them very oftin,
I decided it was batter to use a shop-bought mix.
All I needed to do was add a cup of water
(yes, that's really all),
Mix it together,
Pack it into the tins and turn on the oven.
In hindsight,
Turning the oven onto "fan" would have been helpful in shortening the cooking process.
I gave one to my housemate,
But 'er standards weren't too high :)
She also discovered if you Zappa them in the microwave,
The rays improve the underside of an undercooked muffin.
That said,
I really recommend avoiding the grill setting when cooking muffins.

27-May-2011 VIRUS

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week I was a virus.

I'll byte my tongue against swearing,

And just say I wanted to ram the computer through the windows,

Only I was afraid it woud chip and I still need it.

I'd like to give you advice on how to escape being identified as a virus,

But I don't know the screen used by facebook to monitor virus attacks.

I suspect the key is to avoid posting hilarious links such as:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u011XHmYq1Q

http://www.theboredninja.com/pictures/shaved-llama-before-and-after/

and this one of a gnu I've added,

Simply so I can highlight GNU (check out his flowing mane frame-ing his body):

http://www.animal-pics.org/details.php?image_id=2730

Alas, it was too late to hit the d3l337 button.

If only FB made the dos and don'ts more clear,

Such as saying "Sir, cut this disproportionate activity out" when you're posting too many links.

It would really serve a purpose.

Barring me from my account post link sending simply aggravates,

And not being able to find any forums knowledgably diskussing the yahos virus I apparently am, Gave me very little controll.

(excuse me, leaving teh computer for a bit while IP).

So how to share entertainment without sharing links?

I don't want my mother bored,

Although I suppose I could organise to line uxorial tasks to keep her busy,

But I do believe she's out of hard wearing gloves.

Also, I'm soft where my mum's involved and that doesn't sound very fun.

That's all I have time for for now,

Don't go posting links everywhere and you won't be called a virus.

Easy PC :)

This week - Shoes

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week I forgot to wear shoes to work.
I'm not sure if this happens solely to me?
For many, i would assume this has never happened.
This is,
However,
The second time it has happened to me;
And a newsletter seems the perfect platform to tell you about it :)

The first instance (although recollections differ).
I was working in a transportable building surrounded by sand -
At the Department of Ag. Let me tell you,
my colleagues were quite amused when,
After staying at a friends the night before and not returning home,
I realised I'd forgotten my steel cap boots.
That's right friends,
I had to wear pink high heels, through sand,
To a job where I chopped up wood all day.
If you're wondering,
Dirt wedges into shoes better than I'd have guessed,
So by the time 4pm came,
They were less pink and clogged up with dirt.

This time I'm working in a lovely office where I frequent heels.
Today I actually had to walk in barefoot - and my only shoes are sneakers.
I'm not sure if the shoe-name is apt,
No-one's noticed,
Or if they're holding their tongue,
But sneakers don't exactly compliment my office attire.
Perhaps they're afraid i'll sock it to them if they say anything.

If only my work places had been reversed,

It seems only yesterday (it was last week)
When I literally wor 5 pairs of shoes in one day.
Ahhh the good ol' days.

Hopefully these two occurrences will jogger my memory,
And encourage me to double check my shoe situation.

At least it's keeping me on my toes!

10-november-2010 EAR

This week, in the world of Lisa... (with the help of wikipedia)

This week my Dad had an ear operation,

It wasn’t going to improve his ‘earring though,

That’s been hammered over time.

It was incus of another infection.

So last Monday he was wheeled through the labyrinth of corridors to the operating thearter to his surgeon,

Who is an auricle in his field.

If anyone pitched the idea they shaved his whiskers it’s a beardrumour.

Unfortunately when Dad awoke he was oh-so-sickles :(

When I first heard I had a temp. panic in me’brain,

It mass toyed with our emotions.

They had to pinna few more needles in his arm,

To try and alleviate the eerie feeling,

Before deciding they deafinately needed to do another operation.

A sound decision.

So he had to eat hospital food for longer,

And I’m pretty sure they gave coles-tea-to-ma Dad.

He’s still the same old laid back Dad but helix his lips more often

And whacks his beanie on to hide his dirty hair.

(t’night is the first time i haven’t seen him wear it).

(yes, his beanie was made form a heard of sheep).

El and I gave him some helium balloons,

One had a face which we bandaged to make it cillia heehee.

Apparently after that the doctor said he’d like to meatus,

But he gave Dad the all co-co-cochlear before we were there at the same time.

Probably a good thing,

After using the supplied parking the car tillage was pricey.

Although he doesn’t quite have attic of approval he’s out of hospital now,

There’stapes lined up for him to watch,

And you canal rest assured he’s doing great.

(thanks to all the people Mum’s had inn ‘er ear constantly sending well wishes)

It’s good to have him back hear at home,

We lobe him very, very much :)

16-October-2010

This week, in the world of Lisa...

Whoops! The Melbourne Cup reminded me I never finished this!

Oh well, it's still a fascinator, I'll leave it as is :P

This week I went to the horse races.

I was feeling a little hoarse,

So the mention of drinking had me say “eek, wine!”

(it wasn’t even poured from a decanter)

And I decided not to drink or stay furlong,

Despite the gorgeous day without a hint of rein.

To be honest, I was more interested in the fashion than keeping track of the races,

I don’t mean to stirrup the horse fanatics,

But some of the outfits were a bit amazing!

There was an abundance of Foaliage in hair,

Beautiful dresses (which needed constant adjousting)

And not-so-stable sky high heels,

Sometimes considered whores shoes...

Jewellery was also abundant,

Dangly earrings seemed preferred over studs.

Not everyone dresses up though,

there were a few polo shirts.

I didn't see any bridle parties,

I'm glad they muster decided on a different venue,

or eloped.

Very soon it was time for the mane event,

I herd the trumpet track play

Which begs thequestrian,

Will I have a whinny with my bets?!

Neigh, to have a win I’d first hoof to place a bet.

They were through the gait and I blinkered and missed it,

I didn't miss a great a mount though,

I could hear the commentator over the rodeo.

18-october-2010 EYE

Dear my ugly right eye

I am requesting an answer to why?

Why must you constantly cry?

If you say you’re not sad it’s a lie,

For not a moment today were you dry.

I’d appreciate if you could please try,

To keep tears safely inside,

Yet if you choose to defy,

By continuing this salt-water supply,

I’ll increase the dose I apply

Of the solution required to pacify.

Hopefully the action will rectify,

This case of hay-fever gone awry!

16-Sept-2010 BANK

This week, in the world of Lisa...

This week I was inspired by a friend...

Who is tryen to design a bank with all the money kept in a safe beneath a transparent floor!

A grate and interesting idea.

I haven’t seen the dimensions,

But I’m sure there’ll be many quoins,

And to be franc,

It’s going to be flawless!
It’ll be so cool you’ll want to keep euro-n money in there,

Of course interest will be paid every quarter.

But how can a bank with the money in plain view be kept safe?

Depence if the managers let the billdings’ awesomeness go to their heads and tell tails of the safes imperviousness.

There are many movies which provide a fineanswer of why that’s a bad idea.

I suppose always cheque and take notes for improvements in security systems,

Ensuring they are kept in currency.

And they’d never teller the safes combination,

So that should be a far thing from your mind,

Nothing will be nickled and would-be robbers will leave the bank aloan.

The transparent level will be strong enough to coppa pounding and never buckle,

Therefore, two bob down will only leave you crying aloud,

“Dough! mah knee!” - and it’ll be tender for a while.

To be honest, I’m not sure of any other features of the bank other than the floor,

But I might suggest a dinah for a quick coffee or mint tea when the queues are long,

It would make cents.

A banquet probably wouldn’t be economical though.

Hopefully the waitress (“Bernadebt, she’s a doll, ah?”) won’t get counterfeet.

I might also suggest indoor plants (with many branches),

By the windows so they don’t become drupee.

I hope the banks successful and becomes a sponsor of Quidditch ;)

That’s all I have time for ATM, hope you enjoyed!